Being Blog

39/100 || For the past five years, about a month before my birthday hits, I start a mild freak out about turning a year older. It can be a rabbit hole of feelings and questions and wonderings. It’s not healthy or productive – and if I am completely honest, based mostly on societal pressures more than anything else. But, I guess with age there does come a little wisdom, because this year as these thoughts started…I was able to remember that every other year I would feel shitty, then my birthday would come, and I would wake up the next day and realize that really – nothing changes. Yes, you are a year older, but you are still the same person. Yes, you have to write a new number or maybe even circle a new age bracket, but really…not all that different. Western society – America specifically – places such importance on age. I meet people every day who look older then they are or much younger than they are, but I very rarely – if ever – ask someone how old they are. It seems irrelevant. Yet we, women in particular, are constantly made to feel bad about aging. It’s gross, wildly narrow-minded, and I’m embarrassed to say that I fall for it. ⠀

So, when the thought came to just let my birthday quietly slide by this year, what made me approach it differently was actually this 100 Day Project. Instead of dread – I wondered how would it feel if I was playful about it? How did I celebrate back when I was a kid? Well, I had a party! So, I invited friends and they showed up! Their energy and love left me with so much gratitude and made my heart feel so full. Their presence and kindness reminded me just how insignificant and limiting focusing on age is – that if we spend all of our time worrying about that…we are missing the good stuff! I can honestly say that I did not think about my age the entire night – it felt fun and free and like a celebration! Reminding me that that is why we celebrate birthdays – to recognize the life we are living. The fullness and the beauty within it…and most importantly the beautiful hearts that we get to connect with on this crazy adventure.